At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
