Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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