problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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