i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
