We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
