Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
