I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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