Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
