Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
