i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
