Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
