I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
