census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She bit a glass in half.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
