Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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