She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
