oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
