Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
