My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
