hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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