But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
