scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
