Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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