just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize
