I'm jealous of your bromance
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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