Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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