Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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