I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
