I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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