the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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