he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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