no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
