Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
