Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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