i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Is it because I queefed?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
