problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
