i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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