I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
