dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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