I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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