if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
