Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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