I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
