therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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