i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
