Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
