I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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