It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
nutella sex= disaster
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
