All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
