Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
