Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just had sex bonerless
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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