found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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