I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
