I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So squirting runs in the family.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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