i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
