So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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