birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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