found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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