And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
