Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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