Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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