I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
