I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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