And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
