This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
