pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
