U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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