Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
