I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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