I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
